Breaking

"Heartbreak is an illusion.  The heart is soft and made of light, and therefore cannot break. What is actually breaking is the wall built up around the heart. Let it shatter."  -Unknown.

Audrey Kawasaki

An UnBalancing Act

How do people do it? Go to work, fall in love, keep healthy, socialize, look great, foster hobbies, sleep...?

I want to do it all.... and I can't.

It's too much. I thought I was having growing pains as I stepped into adulthood. I thought juggling all aspects of my life was new and therefore difficult. Within a year I expected to get the hang of it. I would be living some artsy version of Sex and the City.

Fail. and unhappy. exhausted.  :/

It's really time to step back and honor myself. I don't really want it all. I've never wanted it all. I was that college student who took 6-9 credits because I wanted to take my time. I value space and reflection. I like immersing myself into one thing. I've never been good at multi-tasking.

I have this fear if I don't participate in something, or keep up with something, I will miss out. I need to practice letting go. It's okay to say no to some parts of my life or change the proportions (thanks Danielle Laporte. Check out this awesome blog post from Chelsea).

To Your Highest Most Awesome Self

Once Upon A Time....

My girlfriend and I were arguing about something, and whatever I said to get my point across or defend myself, her response was, "Stop being an R.A. you don't have to do that now." She was referring to my language and probably ability to use conflict resolution. I can't help it I'm awesome. 

But I remember that moment so well.. I had shock face on. I said, "I'm not being an R.A. I believe in these things. I DO see the world this way. "

ah. so funny now. We didn't last. for various and obvious reasons. 

I think about that moment a lot and how becoming a Resident Assistant changed everything about me. I think about that moment when some sort of therapy talk comes out of my mouth in my personal life. And I thought about it yesterday when a friend commented on how different I looked. More..official.

It's true. I recently bought a few key pieces and in the past two weeks, I've come to work dressed more professionally. Not corporate suit or anything, but I've been stepping into my adulthood. It was uncomfortable at first..it was new, and I was worried how people would perceive me. 

But as I caught a glance of myself in the mirror today, I recognized myself. I look like me. This is how I should have always been dressing - I just didn't know it. The more exposure I receive, and the more I reflect, the more I make choices that align with who I really am. I'm comfortable. It's easy. 

I'm changing...kinda. What I'm really doing is arriving.

As we register folks for the new school year, I just want to shout - move to your truth, to your highest potential, don't be afraiddd!!Such an incredible journey to have. It takes time, and risk, and love. and it's worth it!  Okay. so that's not crazy hippy hmm... ? 

I AM shouting it in my heart though, and it echos with every hello, every interview, every see-you-in-two-weeks.  

I believe in this. 

*Image from Ellie

To Be or Not to Be...

Donica C. Snyder, MA, LPC, ATR-BC, LMNOPQRSTUV

I went to grad school because I really wanted to learn about transpersonal counseling. I didn't necessarily want to become a transpersonal counselor.

What do I do now?  I was taught you go and get your LPC. But do I want that? Do I need that? How does this professional thing work? Am I not a real art therapist if I'm not registered? And what communities do I become a part of? They should be mutually beneficial, right?

I wanted to write this insightful post about credentials, but I haven't arrived at anything insightful. I just have a lot of questions.

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Be the Change

This week I did not do a lot of curriculum planning. I've been helping out other teams with summer programs. I gave a presentation on stress management to recent alum who are going to college, and I made personalized  place-mats for our Family Engagement Self Care Tea Party. It's nice to interact with the students.  (I forget !)

I have been thinking about my classes however. (When am I not is the real question).  I just wrapped up Art & Fear, and holy cannoli, I had shock face on the entire time. So validating and sooooo sad, and well - inspiring too. That book does it all. I was looking at reviews and some folks really hate it. Reviewers say it's stuff they already knew or that reading detracts from art making. Well - I'm not that reviewer! I think it's great. Thank you David and Ted for articulating something that I struggle with but could not verbalize.

Lately, I've been asking, "who teaches this stuff!?, why don't we teach this stuff?!" I've got to stop looking outside of myself for the magic that I already own.

...The greatest gift you have to offer your students is the example of your own life as a working artist.  There's a story told student who asked what courses he would be teaching the following term.  Replied Santayana: "Santayana I, Santayana II, and a seminar in Santayana III."

-Art & Fear

Yeah. I totally teach Donica I & Donica II. 

Now the challenge is to focus. I'm so excited - I feel like I have enough material for Donica University. huh?...not a bad goal, but I'm sure my semester long class will not appreciate that.

Drop Fear. Draw Near.

Ohhhhhh, down the rabbit hole. ...

I wrote this blog post: Developing an Artistic Style. Yeahhh. you know.... It was a simple thought. I checked out Visual Voice from the library; I really enjoyed the content and thought it would be good for my students.

and something just hit me. My heart burst open with panic and sadness and jealousy and...and...I don't even know what else because I can't pick words for describing THAT feeling when the dam breaks inside. Incredible gaping hole. It's terror. (I'm blessed to live with a friend who is such an incredible guide. She carries life-jackets at the ready). Even with the desire to make art ...there is nothing on paper. I'm in a relationship with no intimacy. No acts of love. I'm struggling.


I feel so failed by my education systems. I am so afraid of the art process with little tools to plow through.  Yes, I know my elements. I know some history. I can matte and present. I can participate in a critique. But what about that other stuff!? -the relational piece. That stuff that inherently happens by doing art. Are we teaching that? and not as a side note. Purposeful objectives and lessons on the subject matter that books like Art & Fear, The Artists Way, and Visual Voice write about. I know there are workshops one can take exploring these things, but isn't this important enough that it should be part of a formal education right alongside our traditional lessons for those enrolled in programs? because Art is Therapy. Examination of the self WILL happen. Isn't facilitated dialogue and reflection...helpful?! I mean... the answer is YES.

I had one instructor at UNLV who I was profoundly impacted by. Life Changing. and not for the mean things he said. (We have plenty of those negative life changing people unfortunately huh?).  He touched on the spiritual aspects of art-making and was consistently present with me and my process.


I want to be my version of him. for me and my students. 


I have got to drop fear and draw near. I have to make art. 

Looking For Me

One of the things I'm trying to figure out is "who am I?"  I'm trying to answer this big question in many facets of my life, but really in Art Therapy. I had no idea I would be stepping into education and there are nuances I'm still trying to understand -like people. And this is important because knowing people introduces me to a PLC that I would really like to be a part of. School based art therapists are just that. They work in the educational environment with the goal of helping students access their education -and really that umbrellas everything because school is not just about an academic diploma - it's a microcosm of life.

Miami-Dade is a powerhouse. They piloted a program in 1979 and have been leaders in the field. They list the following definitions:

Art Therapy: helps students identify and reconcile emotional conflicts using art processes as the modality for communication, evaluation and treatment.
Art Education: teaches students how to produce, understand, evaluate and appreciate aesthetic productions.
School Counseling: relies heavily upon verbal communication to help students understand their feelings and adopt socially acceptable behaviors.
School Psychology: emphasizes evaluation and placement of students for diagnostic and prescriptive purposes.

What does a hybrid of Art Therapy, Art Education, and School Psychology look like? Because I think it looks like me ....

I have my Masters Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, emphasis Art Therapy (currently working toward licensure), and I have my alternative teaching license in Visual Arts. I facilitate two classes for Public School Credit toward graduation. The classes are delivered with a therapeutic framework with a focus on product and process. Therapy, education, and counseling are all inclusive.

"M-DCPS clinical art therapists provide individual and small group counseling services. They do not teach classes."


Well who does?