Be the Change

This week I did not do a lot of curriculum planning. I've been helping out other teams with summer programs. I gave a presentation on stress management to recent alum who are going to college, and I made personalized  place-mats for our Family Engagement Self Care Tea Party. It's nice to interact with the students.  (I forget !)

I have been thinking about my classes however. (When am I not is the real question).  I just wrapped up Art & Fear, and holy cannoli, I had shock face on the entire time. So validating and sooooo sad, and well - inspiring too. That book does it all. I was looking at reviews and some folks really hate it. Reviewers say it's stuff they already knew or that reading detracts from art making. Well - I'm not that reviewer! I think it's great. Thank you David and Ted for articulating something that I struggle with but could not verbalize.

Lately, I've been asking, "who teaches this stuff!?, why don't we teach this stuff?!" I've got to stop looking outside of myself for the magic that I already own.

...The greatest gift you have to offer your students is the example of your own life as a working artist.  There's a story told student who asked what courses he would be teaching the following term.  Replied Santayana: "Santayana I, Santayana II, and a seminar in Santayana III."

-Art & Fear

Yeah. I totally teach Donica I & Donica II. 

Now the challenge is to focus. I'm so excited - I feel like I have enough material for Donica University. huh?...not a bad goal, but I'm sure my semester long class will not appreciate that.

Brushes & Color

Drop Fear. Draw Near.

Ohhhhhh, down the rabbit hole. ...

I wrote this blog post: Developing an Artistic Style. Yeahhh. you know.... It was a simple thought. I checked out Visual Voice from the library; I really enjoyed the content and thought it would be good for my students.

and something just hit me. My heart burst open with panic and sadness and jealousy and...and...I don't even know what else because I can't pick words for describing THAT feeling when the dam breaks inside. Incredible gaping hole. It's terror. (I'm blessed to live with a friend who is such an incredible guide. She carries life-jackets at the ready). Even with the desire to make art ...there is nothing on paper. I'm in a relationship with no intimacy. No acts of love. I'm struggling.


I feel so failed by my education systems. I am so afraid of the art process with little tools to plow through.  Yes, I know my elements. I know some history. I can matte and present. I can participate in a critique. But what about that other stuff!? -the relational piece. That stuff that inherently happens by doing art. Are we teaching that? and not as a side note. Purposeful objectives and lessons on the subject matter that books like Art & Fear, The Artists Way, and Visual Voice write about. I know there are workshops one can take exploring these things, but isn't this important enough that it should be part of a formal education right alongside our traditional lessons for those enrolled in programs? because Art is Therapy. Examination of the self WILL happen. Isn't facilitated dialogue and reflection...helpful?! I mean... the answer is YES.

I had one instructor at UNLV who I was profoundly impacted by. Life Changing. and not for the mean things he said. (We have plenty of those negative life changing people unfortunately huh?).  He touched on the spiritual aspects of art-making and was consistently present with me and my process.


I want to be my version of him. for me and my students. 


I have got to drop fear and draw near. I have to make art. 

Developing an Artistic Style

I have lots of fear that prevents me from creating. I have no idea who I am as an artist. I don't know what I enjoy, I don't know what I look like.

Well - that's not true. I DO know what I look like. It happened by a fluke circumstance. In a 24hr  countdown panic, I could do nothing but let go and get the assignment done. and of course in letting go, that magical thing happens. It happened once. maybe twice.

That magical thing is not some unpredictable, show up randomly cosmic event.  It's a relationship the artist has with her genius. If you trust and practice with the unknown, the unknown shows up brilliantly, and you make not just cool stuff....but authentic stuff. Art that reflects you at your core...not just your amazing draw-an-apple skills.  More like....that-feel-good-this-looks-just-like-my-soul-stuff. That mmm-yes-I'm-committed relationship.  


I missed out on this. My degree made no space for yummy relationship building. I can recognize Hagia Sophia but I can't identify myself. 


The more that I plan for my classes, the clearer it's becoming that I want to teach what my own education lacked. And not because I have weird Art Therapist ego. I'm using my experience to recognize a need. Students benefit by falling in love with who they are. Don't we all? I want my students to fall in love with their genius. Discover their genius, paint their genius. To not be afraid. 


I want it for myself. 

I picked up Finding Your Visual Voice by Dakota Mitchell.  *Drool*  I'm teaching this to my Level  2 Class. THIS is what I want students to walk away with. "It explores how & why you paint and what you respond to visually and emotionally. [This book helps bring awareness] to the combination of instincts and feelings that encourages you to pick up a paintbrush and create work that is your own". Yummyyy.  Very structured & workbook style. 

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard  Thurman.

From Shoe Box to Spice...& Everything Nice.

Now I just need to figure out what to do with the lids! 

Learning to use Data

Well, my reflective post comes today because I start a bit of vacation tomorrow! (insert confetti and party blowouts now!!). OH yeahh. BUT not for another 2 hours. *ahem* 


If there is one thing to take away from school that transfers seamlessly to education and non-profits is evidence-based practices. How do you know what you're doing is having an impact? and if you're not having an impact, then therapist, put your ego to the side and do something different. You too teachers, doctors, and everyone!! ( Wouldn't it be nice if our food industry followed suit...hmmmkay.)


I facilitate an art class -with all the bells and whistles. I closely follow state standards.  If you didn't know though -I'm an art therapist. and it's a good question for people to ask "why you?"  Sometimes I also ask, "why me?"  Hopefully I bring some therapeutic goodness to the space. It's not just about that line or that red hue. It's about feelings. and coping skills. and relationships.  I hope I'm increasing emotional intelligence. Well, hope is not enough. 

The Silver Drawing Test "use stimulus drawings to elicit responses that provide access to a patient’s emotions and attitudes toward themselves and others, while also testing for the ability to solve problems and convey ideas." - from the psychotherapy arena


I gave this assessment in Fall 2010, and this week the amazing data team put together my numbers. (well, my intern's numbers; she did a great job of scoring). 

I'm still learning to read and interpret the data, and still trying to fully understand this assessment, but I do know how to recognize an increase! Like the above graph - Self Image looks at a scale ranging from the respondent seeming to identify with a subject as sad, helpless, isolated, to a respondent seeming to identify with a subject who is powerful, loved, or achieving goals. 

What's really cool is that one of sub tests looks at concepts that are fundamental in reading. Art improving reading? Hoorraayyy.


I'm kinda excited. Really excited. First it's theory, then it's practice, and then it's theory again. Doing makes understanding that much more solid. I  can go back to the literature and makes sense of the text now.  I look forward to collecting more data, looking at results, and examining my interventions.  

Reflective Practioner

I know some fantastic bloggers. Chelsea & Kaileen are my favorite. and not just because I know them. They have a really amazing way of presenting content they love (you should totally take a gander). Which made me think, "gee, I'm boring". Bleh. I know, I know, we're not in the business of comparisons . But really - who wants to read about standards and testing?! and my awkward coming of age in art therapy story. Probably no one. Realistically - okay. Someone.

But more importantly: Me.

I create blogger drama for myself. and it's really not that serious. These two posts came at a great time:

• How To Make Better Teachers
• 5 Reasons Educators Should Blog

I don't need to fight to come up with awesome material. I'm here to reflect on what is my awesome life. To do better. To be better. (duhhhhh). 

At the end of each week, I'll give you the tibits, the inside scoop, the reality tv show that is my learning. and by "you" I could just be talking to "me". It's like R.A. programming though. Whether 1 resident shows up, or

the entire hall, you impact those who come.